She is gone. RIP Mami 6/15/42 - 9/11/09




It has been a long time since I blogged. I have so many things on my mind that I am astounded that I can keep my cool and my sanity. This year my mother was diagnosed with a rare form of Adrenal Cancer. It was end stage. The doctors could not do anything about it.

She passed away on September 11, 2009. This has been the single most devastating blow I have received in my entire life. NOTHING that anyone else can do to me or say to me will hurt as much as this EVER!!!!. There is no pain like the loss of your mother. Lost friends, lost loves………nothing compares or feels quite so sharp.

I cry every day.

I miss her.

I comfort myself in knowing that we all took care of her until her last breath and she died in her home, in her bed, surrounded by those she loved most.

My mother was an amazing woman and everyone that had the chance to really know her and share their lives with her….is blessed. Her memory lives on in the happy times we all shared with her. My mother taught me so many things. I am the woman I am today because of her. Everything that is great in me is because of her.

My life is constantly put in perspective by the monumental occurrences in my life. Death and cancer have a way of making everything else look insignificant and petty.

I want everyone reading this blog to spend time with their parents and really get to know them at their core level. Tell them you love them every single day. Have a relationship with your parents before you lose them. I am fortunate that I had a very good relationship and friendship with my mom. She loved my brother and I fiercely and was always there for us when we needed her. I know that she is looking after me even now.

Comments

Marta said…
Nunca se puede superar la muerte de una madre y mas si ha sido buena con uno, pero por lo menos debes aceptar que ahora estara en un mejor lugar y ya no estara sufriendo y que siempre existiran en tu mente los buenos recuerdos.
11/10/09, 10:29 AM
Rosa said…
Hi!! I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom!! Seems like you two had a great relationship!! I am lucky to still have my mom with me and I will follow your advise and tell her I love her everyday!!! Be thankful you had her in your life for so many years, I don't know how you do it. I don't know if I could handle the loss of my mom!!

Only thing I can say is at least she is no longer suffering and is in a better place...
11/12/09, 3:15 PM
TahjiMumford said…
I am so sorry that you are still hurting so bad, I am happy that you are writing about it though. I know your mother must be pleased with you and I believe everyday you go forward is a testimony to the way she raised you. ((((Bittersweet hugs))))
12/2/09, 1:01 AM
Anonymous said…
I can definitely relate to you Eve...the only other thing that had a significantly detrimental impact on my life other than my mother's death, was losing my sister, who died (3) years ago. It still feels like these losses in my life, just happened yesterday at my darkest and happiest moments. I'm more connected to them now than when they were alive. Weird huh? There are many, many instances where I'm simultaneously infused with jealousy and anger when I see someone with their mother, sister, or another family member. These constant feelings can be misdirected, admittedly, but I feel that I've somehow been "cheated" in life because I lost the most important people in my life and here are those very same people that just don't get IT until it's too late. For those who read this and Eve's message, I think both of us would agree when I say "DON'T LET IT BE TOO LATE - take NOTHING for granted, make peace with your love ones because as much as we don't want to come to terms with it ---we're all operating on BORROWED TIME! -
Barbara (aka Babs)
12/29/09, 2:37 PM
Diary of a Boricua said…
I know you'll keep her memory alive. I lost my father last year and my grandmother this year and there is not a day that goes by that there is something that reminds me of them.

I truly admire your strength. Keep in mind you can count on me when ever you're in need of a friend.
12/29/09, 8:02 PM
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